Myths about Marriage

Myth: You must find the ‘right’ person to marry.
Reality: Success in marriage is more than finding the ‘right’ person; it is being the ‘right’ person.

Myth: Until a person finds the ‘perfect’ person to marry, he or she should not be satisfied.
Reality: No one is perfect.

Myth: You should feel totally competent as a future spouse before you decide to get married.
Reality: A person should feel competent to be a spouse, and some feelings of anxiety are natural.

Myth: You could be happy with anyone you choose to marry if you try hard enough.
Reality: It takes two mature and well-adjusted individuals to make a marriage work, so one needs to be reasonably sensitive and selective in the choice of a partner.

Myth: You should choose someone to marry whose personal characteristics are opposite from your own as opposites attract!
Reality: A person should choose someone to marry whose personal characteristics are similar to his or her own. It depends on how much the ‘opposite characteristic’  is important to you and to what extend its impact on your life is acceptable.

Myth: Being in love with someone is sufficient reason to marry that person.
Reality: Although romantic love is important, especially in the early stage of a relationship, other factors are equally or more important to marital satisfaction and should be considered before marriage.

Myth: Choosing someone to marry is a ‘decision of the heart.’
Reality: Choosing someone to marry is a ‘decision of the heart and head.’

Myth: Living together will prepare you for marriage and improve your chances of being happily married.
Reality: Cohabitation may help us to get to know each other better, but will not serve as a trial marriage or increase our chances of being happily married.

Myth: Choosing a partner should be easy.
Reality: Choosing a partner is not easy, the decision should be carefully thought out.

Myth: Preparing for marriage comes ‘naturally.’
Reality: Preparing for marriage is learned and is based on sound information and personal assessment.

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